The Gump Song

(note: this one I wrote after hearing Weird Al’s parody of a song called “LUMP.”  He called it “GUMP” making fun of the movie character Forrest Gump.)

Mama always said, “Life is like a box of chocolates,
you never know what you’re gonna get!”

I know a guy, his name is Forrest!
He would sit on a bench waiting for the bus
telling his life story,
and he would always say, “My name’s Forrest, Forrest Gump!”
And kids would always throw rocks at him ’cause of that!
That’s all I have to say about that!

There’s a guy I know who says he created
Elvis Presley’s “Hound Dog” dance,
but that’s hard to believe because Forrest never existed!
That’s all I have to say about that!

There’s a guy I know who met three presidents!
First one he said he really got to pee,
second one he showed his buttocks,
the third one put him in Watergate and it got robbed!
That’s all I have to say about that!

I know a guy whose friends’ names were
Dan “No Legs,”
Bubba “Shrimp Possessed,”
Jen, a hippy, kind of got stoned!
That’s all I have to say about that!

His wife Jen dies,
and his shrimpin’ business goes down,
but that’s another story
and that’s all I have to say about that!
A stupid is, a stupid does, Sir!

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