What Is The Truth? I Want To Know And I Seek It

I was not brought up in a religious home, but I was brought up to believe in God, in fact every once in while when I was a little kid my mom would take us to church, not every Sunday but a lot of Sundays.  It wasn’t until I was 16 when she started taking us to church every Sunday and we ended up participating in all the church activities than, and a few months later I started attending church on my own and she quit going but at that church I was that animals have no soul, and that the Mormon church and the catholic church were both cults and that you should stay away from cults.  Later on over the years, I learned that all of the religions of the world if they aren’t a cult now they started out as a cult.  Think about it – what is one of the main traits of a cult?  The leader always says “They are God” – David Koresh, the leader of the Branch Dividians claimed to be God.  Who else claimed to be God?  Jesus Christ, as quoted from the bible, said “I am God in the flesh.”

Christians are also taught that they are the only true religion, however all other religions of this world are taught that they are the only true religion also, so what is one to believe?
And I finished reading a book that is handed out be Jehovah’s Witnesses, and I got even more confused.  They believe that according to the bible when a person dies there is no spirit because they return to dust on the ground, however if that is true than explain ghost sitings.  It is a well proven and well documented fact that ghosts exist.  It does state somewhere in the bible (not exactly sure where) to not contact the dead, that you really can’t and when you think you do it’s really the devil at work.  If you really can’t, than how come we are able to see ghosts and how come some people claim to have spoken with loved ones beyond the grave?  If there are no spirit after death than how are we able to see ghosts?

Also, the church teaches you to stay away from the occult that it is devil worship.  According to the Wikipedia (I did some research of my own after I started reading Dan Brown’s new book this morning) Occult doesn’t mean devil worship at all – it just means hidden secret.

Also as Christians we are taught to not worship any idols because God is jealous, however I recently attended a Shabbat service (for those of you who don’t know Shabbat is a service that Messianic Jews attend) and they worship the Torah!  It may be God’s book, but they are worshipping the book during part of the service and not God which somewhat bugged me since we aren’t supposed to be worshipping idols?

Religion has always really confused me.  I believe in God, however believing in God is like believing in Santa Claus.  Look at it this way: God supposedly created every thing you see, but who or what came before God?  He just didn’t just show up one day, he had to come from somewhere, I mean think about it? Just like how would you think Santa Claus is able to visit all the houses in the world in one night?  It’s impossible.  Even though a lot of the stories you read in the bible have proven to have actually happened, does God really exist?  Who is he and where did he come from?

Churches have also made me feel like a loser or a low-life because of the stuff I like to watch or listen to, however I never went out seeking to hurt anyone in any way shape or form, so why try to convince me that I’m a low-life piece of trash.

Some of my closest friends are very highly religious and Christian and I try to listen to what they have to say, but I just get confused.  I don’t know if it’s because I’m so open minded or not, but when they talk about their beliefs and things I’m just lost.  There are times where I feel like I want to get involved with church again because it does help you be a better person – but if i do, I know it’s not going to help my confusion any better, it’s just going to make my confusion even worse.  I know that from my own personal experience.  I hear some agnostic people talk and atheists talk, and it’s interesting hearing what they have to say but I don’t want to convert to those beliefs out of fear.  Not a single one of us really knows the truth about God and Religion or Christianity.  We never really know the truth until we die.  If there really is a God and heaven and hell, I know I definitely wouldn’t want to burn in hell and the bible states if you don’t believe you will burn.  Of course the Jehovah’s Witnesses believe that you won’t burn as long as you believe, that the only people going to hell will be people who have truly showed sin after the second coming, that when you die you return to dust and you won’t go to heaven or hell right yet, that after the 2nd coming you get a 2nd chance.  Like I said, not a single soul on this planet knows the truth until we die and I don’t think a single person after death has come back to say what happened.  Yes, there are some who claim to have seen a white light and was told it wasn’t there time and so they came back to life – but people are always in search of fame and fortune that they will say anything!  My dad told me how my uncle was pronounced dead from a drug overdose, but he came back to life and according to what my dad told me, my uncle didn’t see no white light, no pearly gates, nothing.  So what does this tell you?

Another thing the bible and church teaches is to stay away from false prophets.  I don’t know about all the other so-called prophets, but look at Nostradamus.  He supposedly predicted Hitler’s coming, Napoleon’s coming, JFK’s assassination, etc. and if you read some of his work I could see how people have come to the conclusion that he predicted these events.  That would be some strange coincidence if he really didn’t predict them.
In school, we’re taught about how great our fore fathers were, and about their religious beliefs, etc.  However – one thing I never learned in school was the fact that our forefathers were freemasons.  We are also taught how they believed all men are created equal.  Explain this one to me than: if all men are created equal, than how come they had slaves and how come both women and slaves didn’t have such rights – women and slaves weren’t treated like people much back than, and if all men were created equal wouldn’t they be treated just the same as our fore fathers wanted to be treated?  Also, we were taught that our fore fathers were Christians.  I recently found out that this isn’t entirely accurate.  They believed in God, yes – but that didn’t make them necessarily Christians.

On another note, in school we are taught that Lee Harvey Oswald assassinated John F. Kennedy.  If it’s not the truth, should we really be learning it in school?  I learned over the years that Lee Harvey Oswald had nothing to do with the assassination of JFK.  He was just a patsy!  Yet, our history teachers teach us that he killed JFK.
Aliens – if aliens really did crash in Roswell in the 1940s, why is our own government trying to cover it up?  Our own government claims to cover up things for national security reasons. 

Another conspiracy: 911.  Did terrorists really destroy the twin towers and kill all those innocent people that day?  I don’t really think so.  I saw this video about the 911 conspiracy and it’s rather fascinating.  George Bush had a brother who owned part of the WTC building a few months before it’s “demolition”, and apparently underneath the building there was gold.  Also, how many magazine covers or newspaper photos do you see of a plane crashed into the pentagon?  You see the pentagon with a huge gaping hole and people scattered all over, but no plane and plus – the size of the gaping hole doesn’t even look big enough to even fit a plane, but i don’t think the plane crash mess would’ve been cleaned up that quickly so where the evidence of the plane at?  Someone in the WTC building that day also had stated hearing 4 or 5 more explosions when trying to escape the building – like someone had placed bombs in it to demolish it.

What in the world is our government afraid of?  The people want to know the truth, and we seek the truth so why can’t they ever tell us.?  If they have proof that aliens exist and they told me I’d be like “cool, finally we know.”  this isn’t the movies where you see aliens out to terrorize us so we run!  and I already can’t stand the government, and I’m for sure the government was who killed JFK so I would still be like “ok, so now we know the truth.”  Is our own government thinking that if we know the truth that we will march in the streets and protest?  Hell, if we do – oh well!  Something else I recently learned about something our forefathers have written is this: if the current government is wrong, do whatever it takes to make it right.  So if our government is really hiding all of these truths from us we do have a right to protest and fight once we find all these truths!

I am somewhat of a conspiracy theorist.  Mainly because I seek the complete truth.  I have always been fascinated with mysteries and puzzles, and unfortunately my brain can’t function and absorb things like scientists can.  But I am a firm believer that my mass confusion is a big cause of a lot of my problems.  I just want and seek the truth.


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