It seems almost as if we live in an era where kids just grow up way too fast. We can notice it on television, when we are out in public, and sometimes even at our schools. It seems almost as if today’s generation makes some poor choices in how they act and in how they dress. From what I have witnessed, it seems as if it comes from upbringing. It seems as if parents these days want to be their kids’ friend instead of parents. It also seems as if parents just don’t care what their children do. At a grocery store I worked at, I witnessed a couple of girls who looked no older than ten that dressed and acted like they belonged on a street corner somewhere. Obviously, improper parenting skills are not best for our children. It can lead children to make poor choices as they grow – often getting them into trouble, it can cause unfortunate mental and emotional damage on your children, and it can often become a never-ending cycle when the children become adults.
One way improper parenting skills are not best for children is because it can lead children to make poor choices in life, often getting them into trouble. If parents don’t teach their kids what’s right and what’s wrong, and fail to teach their kids the consequences about their actions, their kids might succumb to peer pressure and pick up addictive habits like alcoholism or drug addictions. Without the proper social survival skills, one’s children might more than likely take drugs or alcohol instead of saying “no” like they should. They might also have violence and behavior problems. According to Kate Miller-Wilson, a freelance writer who has written numerous articles about families, “exposing children to…violence can result in…violence and behavior problems in kids”(Miller-Wilson). She also stated that “a study published in the International Journal of Child, Youth, & Family Studies found that children who were neglected by their parents were more likely to be prosecuted for juvenile delinquency.” Children also may not be very successful in life due to the poor choices they made because of lack of parental support. One example of this is the fact that children might not attend college and get a college degree which will lead them to a better paying job. Instead they might work a dead-end minimum wage paying job. Parents should see what their children are interested in and never turn them away from their interests. They should instead build up their child’s self-esteem and support their child’s interests. At 33, I am a late bloomer college attender. I had many interests as a child, but my father would steer me away from those interests, because he wanted me to learn things he felt would be more useful to me. I have always understood dad’s point, and parents may not always agree with their child’s interests, but parents still should always remain supportive.
Another reason improper parenting skills are not best for children is because it can cause unfortunate mental and emotional damage on your children. Children who are brought up in very abusive households are more likely to develop mental disorders when they get older. “According to a study published in Child Development, children who were directly abused were far more likely than their peers to suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder ” (Miller-Wilson). Some kids have also developed a “multiple personality disorder” as a way of dealing with the abuse when they get older. Dr. Phil had a guest on his show once who developed a multiple personality disorder. This guest developed it because she was abused as a child. As an adult, she developed several personalities and the disorder is wreaking havoc on her marriage. Improper parenting skills can also lead to children having depression and low self-esteem compared to their peers who were raised in better homes. One example in particular of this has been mentioned in a study published by the Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry which “found that children who were the victims of sexual abuse at home had much lower self-esteem than their peers” (Miller-Wilson).
And finally, improper parenting skills are not best for children because it can become a never-ending cycle when children become adults. When children have seen nothing but bad parenting growing up, it is more likely they will continue that same pattern and raise their children just as poorly. When improper parenting styles are all a child knows, how are children to know a better way of life? When a parent is in jail most of their child’s life because the parents decide to break the law constantly, that child might assume that it’s OK to raise their kids up the same way when they get older. Parents need to be good role-models for their children so the never-ending cycle does not occur. Yes, teach children to make the right choices in life but parents also should be making the same choices. Parents should not drink or smoke and tell their kids not to do it. This can really confuse a child, which can cause children to rebel. My father always taught me to not drink or smoke even though he did it. When I would ask him why not, and explain to him that he did, he would always respond with “Do as I say, not as I do.” Even though dad was a good role-model most of the time, sometimes he really wasn’t, but what parent is perfect? One reason I started drinking at 19 was because I was tired of being confused about what is right and what is wrong.
Improper parenting skills are definitely not best for our children. It can psychologically damage a child. They are more than likely to develop addictive habits and get into trouble. They will also probably raise their children the same way when they have children of their own because it is all they know. If parents do not raise their kids up properly, children will more than likely not have the proper tools necessary for them to survive as adults. They would also probably end up in trouble a lot because they don’t know any better. What kind of future role models would our children be if parents don’t raise their kids up with the proper tools, morals and etiquettes that they need to be proper adults?
Miller-Wilson, Kate. “Effects of Bad Parenting on Children.” Lovetoknow kids. Lovetoknow, n.d. Web. 2 May 2013. <http://kids.lovetoknow.com/wiki/ Effects_of_Bad_Parenting_on_Children>.